Well, we have four of them – two boys and two girls. And they display the full range of personality quirks from one extreme to the other – single-mindedness versus attention-deficient, well-behaved versus mischievous, compliant versus stubborn, quiet versus talkative.

By now, we are familiar with the “Wow, how do you manage them?” comments.

Over the years, we have grappled with our kids’ different personalities, their mood swings, anger outbursts, petty quarrels and unfathomable reasoning. At the same time, we’ve also had to deal with stress at work, the demands of the children’s education and manage our limited finances and society’s expectations.

The perfect parenting book

We started no different from you – with a vision of a blissful life after marriage. But with our first-born, our plans were reshuffled. Our second son came along two years later, followed by a much-anticipated daughter four years later (praise God!). It was a joy to doll her up. It was around this time that Pauline decided to stay at home with the kids. Six years later, another daughter came. By then we were pretty battle-hardened – changing nappies, feeding babies, being woken at night. We dealt with pre-school, pre-teens and then teens.

Education placed demands on the intellectual development of the children – and ours too. We felt challenged by their school education. In the midst of this frenetic living, we discovered that God was no longer an option.

In the hope of building a strong foundation for our family, we started getting actively involved in the different ministries of our parish. With the arrival of our fourth child, we have dropped many of our involvements but remain committed as catechists, teaching adults and children the Word of God, in our parish’s RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) and Home Catechism Centre.

As we began to study the Bible and started to attend Bible classes and seminars, we became more sensitive to the Word of God and the promptings of the Holy Spirit. The best book on parenting, we discovered, was the Bible!

Parenting principles of love and discipline could be based on God’s words such as:

Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

(This brings to mind a certain priest who once said, “Give me a child for six years, and he will remain a Catholic for the rest of his life.”)

He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently. (Proverbs 13:24) Correct your son, and he will give you comfort, He will delight your soul. (Proverbs 29:17)