“There is plenty of sex in the city. Almost half of Singaporean singles have done it. And among them, more than half have had multiple sexual partners and around a quarter have had one-night stands.”

The Straits Times, September 29, 2003.

ON SEPTEMBER 29, 2003, The Straits Times published the results of a survey conducted among 335 young, educated Singaporeans, aged between 25 and 49 to gauge their attitudes towards marriage, dating and sex.

Although it uncovered the interesting fact that almost three-quarters of singles surveyed would prefer engaging in their favourite non-sexual activity over having sex, the study uncovered some worrying trends. For instance, 45% of those polled had pre-marital sex while 48% saw nothing wrong in premarital sex. A total of 65% of the respondents also admitted to having had two or more sex partners. The majority, however (73%), ruled out having one-night stands and also (75%) said they had never paid for sex.

While most of the singles interviewed seek sexual satisfaction within the context of a relationship, sex did not seem to be valued in a Christian or even moral way. Instead it seems to be viewed as - to quote one of those surveyed - “no big deal”.

If somebody you love gives you a gift, the value you place on that gift is reflective of how much you value the giver. Are young Singaporeans choosing to discard or treasure the gift of their beloved? Have they considered that sex is that beautiful gift given by God to every individual to be shared responsibly and morally within marriage?

Disturbed by these trends, I asked some young Catholics for their views on sex:

“God made man and woman, and said that the ‘two shall become one’ (Genesis 2:24) and ‘be fruitful and multiply’ (Genesis 1:28). Only through the Sacrament of Matrimony, that is marriage, does a man and a woman ‘become one’. And therefore, it follows that sex should only stay within marriage, and sex is the consummation of marriage. Sex outside marriage is a false union between two persons who are not truly united as ‘one flesh’”.

Catholic male, single, 20s

“I believe that the place and role of sex is within marriage. Sex is sacred as it allows humans to participate in God’s creative power. It is the supreme expression of self-giving and life-giving love between a man and a woman. Therefore, it can only be shared in the permanent relationship between husband and wife.”

Catholic male, single, late 20s

“It is an extremely intimate form of sharing/expression. I see sex as a physical expression of love, trust and commitment. I think that having sex while dating leaves you wide open to being hurt emotionally because it assumes a level of trust and commitment that may not exist.”

Catholic female, single and unattached, 20s

One priest shared with me that “marriage is a contract by which bride and groom give each other a right on their respective bodies, so that the two ends of marriage, procreation and companionship, can be fulfilled. As marriage is also a covenant, a relationship of love, sex without true love is a misuse of sex. It is fornication and a serious sin.”

Knowing this, do we choose to adopt a “buffet” or “set lunch” attitude towards the Church's teachings? Do we accept the Truth, the whole Truth and nothing but the Truth? Or are we selective?