THERE IS A PRIEST I KNOW who has a reputation as a bad confessor. In fact, years ago I had encouraged a friend who had been away from confession for a long time and who I knew had a serious mortal sin and wanted to come back to church. She told me she arrived between 5.00–5.30pm and when he was summoned (as he was the priest on duty that day) he came out in tennis gear and cooly said to her, “You had the whole day and yet you come now. Sorry but I am off duty and am late for a tennis game.”

I leave the rest to your imagination – my friend left and never came back – she is now a born again Christian, she has left our church!

We need better confessors.

- Female Catholic, 40s

When I learned about the life of Saint Pio (1887-1968), what made the biggest impression on me was not the gift of the stigmata. Instead, it was his work as a confessor.

He would not just absolve sins but give holy, inspired advice to the hundreds of penitents who came to see him daily. Despite having to endure the stigmata, he would he hear confessions for 10 to 12 hours each day. In this, he resembled the patron saint of parish priests, St. John Vianney (1786-1859), who spent about 13 hours daily hearing confessions (he would begin at midnight), ministering to the thousands of people who travelled to his little parish in France just to see him.

Fast forward to Singapore, 2003 and to two scenarios which I’m sure some of you are familiar with. You arrive at church extra early, say by 15-20 minutes before the start of mass and make a beeline for the reconciliation room with your sack of sins. No priest there yet, so you wait. The minutes tick by, and soon you realise that it’s only one minute more to mass. With no priest in sight, you heave a sigh of disappointment and head for the pew. No Holy Communion for you this week...

Alternatively, you arrive early and find a queue so long you’d think the priest was issuing Hello Kittys instead of Hail Marys. Nevertheless, you wait patiently. If you are lucky the queue moves quickly. But sometimes, it does not and just as your turn arrives, both doors of the reconciliation room open. The penitent exits, and so does the priest, who zooms past you in a hurry to say Mass.

Bad experiences with the sacrament of reconciliation. We’ve all had them at one time or another. To find out more about the Singaporean experiences, I e-mailed a few Catholics to find out about their worst—and best—confessions. Their replies were revealing...